I admit it. I am, on occasion, a lazy mom. I'm not lazy where it really counts, of course. I'm as vigilant as the next cheerio-encrusted, frizzy haired, Volvo driving Super-Mom when it comes to teaching about manners, sharing, or not hitting your playground friend just because he wants the same swing as you. But potty training? Seriously, I have bigger things to worry about.
It amazes me how much stress our little one's bodily functions, and where said bodily functions are occurring, can cause the average family. I've seen moms who were unfazed by concussions and "sharpie" permanent ink art on previously pristine white walls (not to mention hard wood floors!) come completely unglued while trying to phase their little ones out of diapers. Time and again I've been left wondering why a poopy diaper or well-timed trouser-bomb has the potential to turn a Super-Mom into a fire-breathing Momzilla.
In the interest of saving moms (and dads!) everywhere from falling down this slippery slope into potty training hell, I've compiled a list of this lazy mom's five "Do's" when it comes to a child's, well, doo-doo.
Take a Deep Breath (unless there is a trouser-bomb in your vicinity)
I can guarantee you that your little fireman or glitter splattered princess will not go to college in pull-ups, so relax. Give up the notion that potty training should happen by a certain age. Sure, we've all heard stories about the amazing miracle child who was sitting on her potty at eight months of age. For the sake of sanity I like to think of these braggart parents as either a) lying through their teeth, or b) in for a massive poop-covered revolt by their little darling when said "miracle child" reaches the age of rebellion (which is, in my opinion, the age of three. The so called "terrible two's" are just a ploy to divert our attention from the real horror to come. But I digress.)
In any case, give yourself a break. The fact that your three year-old is still running around in diapers is in no way a reflection on your skills as parents. By the way, if your child does go off to college with a package of pull-ups in her suitcase, you won't have to worry about what kind of boys she's dating. Now there's a plus!
Recognize the Power Struggle for What it Is
That's right. It's all about power. Our little darlings control very little in their world. They can only control what they put into their bodies, and where they put it out on the other end. If you give up any perceived effort to control these two aspects of their lives, you won't end up butting heads with them like two big-horn rams. This will save you from a head-pounding migraine, as I guarantee that you can't win this fight. The more you try to force your will on your adorable toddler, the more vigilant she will become about the whole pull-ups in college idea.
Listen to your Child
When I first brought up the notion of potty training with my son he was very quick to tell me "mommy, I'm not ready to do that." How could I argue with such a direct and honest statement? Even if your child isn't quite as verbal, there are plenty of physical cues that can also make this statement loud and clear.
Yes, that third trouser-bomb of the day is a big statement. They simply won't let go of the diapers until they are ready, so why stress out trying to force them to do something before they're ready to do it? When they are ready they will let you know.
As an example, within the course of twenty-four hours this same son went from wearing diapers all the time to using the toilet exclusively, and we've never looked back. Sure, he was almost three and a half when it happened, but we didn't have one battle over it and he has had no "accidents" since then. After a couple of weeks we even had a "throwing out the diapers" party to celebrate.
I didn't prematurely age myself with the stress of getting him to use the toilet, and I saved a fortune in carpet cleaning and laundry. You're welcome, environment. On second thought, I was using disposable diapers, so never mind. I told you I was a lazy mom.
Give Positive Encouragement and Information
As previously stated, losing the diapers should be their idea. Your job is to encourage them in a positive and non-threatening way. Then pretend you don't care how long it takes them to make this step forward. That's right, pretend. Start with casual references while changing their diaper. Something along the lines of "you know, when you're a big girl you'll use the toilet just like mommy does." Then let it go (unless they ask questions). This gives your child the first inkling of a change of venue for those daily constitutionals.
Videos can be a huge friend to you during this time period. I personally found Potty Power by Mazzarella Bros. Productions to be really helpful (I found it in our local library) but there are plenty of other great videos out there as well. Let's face it; sometimes our little darlings take in information better when it's not coming from the dominant adults in their life. Besides, we adults usually don't have the energy to put on big song and dance productions in the living room. Well, ok, I don't.
Keep those lines of communication open. Talk about it whenever the timing seems right, but don't make it the entire focus of your household. No matter how positive you seem, your child is going to feel way too much pressure if the toilet has suddenly become the over-riding topic of conversation in your home.
Stay positive at all costs! Any negativity or threats of punishment from you will only cause trauma to your little one. It's a big and scary step away from the safety of babyhood. Your job is to guide them in a way that gives them confidence in their own ability, not to win the "whose kid made it to the toilet finish line first" contest.
Be Patient and Keep Your Perspective
Before you know it your little angel will be all grown up and going off to college (hopefully without those pull-ups!) and this time in his life will be a distant memory. I'm pretty sure there is no essay question on those college admission forms demanding to know when your future chemist or lawyer stopped dropping loads in his drawers, so relax. Instead take comfort in the knowledge that as your child gets older there will be plenty of other things to keep you wide awake and worrying well into the wee hours of the night. Get some rest while you can.
